


Never Taste of the Fruit

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: Browncoats (Firefly)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-25
Updated: 2005-01-25
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: "Zoe still believed in God a little when they got on that med-ship. She wasn't sure God had taken much of a liking to her or that He hadn't sent her here to hell on purpose but she still thought of God as part of the 'verse."





	Never Taste of the Fruit

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Inspired by (and sometimes outright copied from) deleted scenes on the Firefly DVDs. Kind of song-fic. But not really.

  
Author's notes: Inspired by (and sometimes outright copied from) deleted scenes on the Firefly DVDs. Kind of song-fic. But not really.  


* * *

Never Taste of the Fruit

## Never Taste of the Fruit

*"I am never going to leave Serenity,"* Zoe thought through her haze. The thought was detached, somehow final, but unimportant in the overall landscape. 

The med-ships finally did float into the valley after a week of . . . what even? Waiting? Dying? Wondering? Was anyone coming for them? Prison sounded like heaven by then and being a POW had sounded pretty gorram good weeks ago. Were they forgotten? Left to die? Were they gonna be left like that, just to die one by one of this or that festering wound or the ever present gnawing hunger? 

"I can hear something. Does anybody hear that?" 

Mal called out to her, "Private!" After the moment it took her to realize O'Shea died next to her against the rock, Mal said louder, "Zoe!" She'd been laying there for hours and by now it didn't bother her so much that she had no idea how long O'Shea'd been dead. 

She looked up at Mal. "Signal flare," he said in the tone that meant "do it now." An order. She was grateful. She could obey an order without having to think. 

She tried unsuccessfully to sit up but Mal was pulling her to her feet for her. It was now a natural gesture for him to make. For her to accept. 

Zoe still believed in God a little when they got on that med-ship. She wasn't sure God had taken much of a liking to her or that He hadn't sent her here to hell on purpose but she still thought of God as part of the 'verse. She just seemed to be on the losing side. 

She hadn't stopped believing when O'Shea, barely seventeen, had suffered and survived just long enough to die on a rock when no one was paying attention just hours before their rescue came. She still believed after all those weeks in The Valley and months losing the war and years fighting it. She even believed when those black, shining Alliance battle ships descended like fallen angels and showed them more clearly and decisively to be the losers of this war than any amount of death and destruction she had seen around her for the past two months. 

But by the time they got off the med-ship again - by the time she'd learned that they were left in the stink and offal of Serenity Valley for a week while the generals, the people who actually _were_ in Simon's encyclopedia, negotiated The Great Peace... 

Zoe didn't believe in God anymore. 

She believed in Mal. She didn't _have_ to believe in God to stay sane. 

They'd saved each other's lives so many times that Zoe never even really tried keeping count. They were just responsible for each other. *"For whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."* Except Mal had no god. Not anymore. And neither did Zoe. She swore the silent oath to him anyway. 

So when it becomes necessary, as it did with Simon in his first days on Serenity, she says it all out loud because Mal can't. She describes in calm detail roughly one-eight of the gore, violence and horror they'd seen together in Serenity Valley, among other battles, so that people can understand Mal just enough to keep from hating him outright. 

There was no why for their surviving it. She was long past believing there was a purpose. But she knew how she'd lived. Mal. And she even put the horror and the numbness far enough behind her that she found Wash. Or, really, Wash found her. But what she'd said to Simon was still true. "Once you've been in Serenity, you never really leave. So you just learn to live there." She hadn't left yet and didn't expect to be leavin' anytime soon. Had even found a husband and some happiness and peace there. And she would go where Mal went. 

And Mal would never leave Serenity. 

* * *

_You're such an inspiration for ways_  
_That I will never ever choose to be_  
_Oh so many ways for me to show you_  
_How your savior has abandoned you_  
_Your lord your christ_  
_Took all you had and_  
_Still you pray never stray_  
_Never_  
_Never thought to question why_

_It's not like you killed someone_  
_It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side_ _Praise the one who left you broken down and paralyzed_ _He did it all for you_

_Oh so many ways for me to show you_  
_How your dogma has abandoned you_  
_Pray to your christ to your God_  
_Never taste of the fruit_  
_Never stray never break_  
_Never choke on a lie_  
_Even though he's the one who did this to you_ _Never thought to question why_

_Not like you killed someone_  
_It's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side_ _Talk to jesus christ as if he knows the reasons why_ _He did it all to you_  
_He did it all for you_

_Fuck your god_

_Your lord your christ_  
_He did this_  
_Took what you had and_  
_Left you this way_  
_Still you pray never stray_  
_Never taste of the fruit_  
_Never thought to question why"_

  * "Judith," A Perfect Circle 



* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Never Taste of the Fruit**   
Author:   **Mona**   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **PG**  |  **gen**  |  **4k**  |  **01/25/05**   
Characters:  Malcolm, Zoe \- various browncoat soldiers   
Summary:  "Zoe still believed in God a little when they got on that med-ship. She wasn't sure God had taken much of a liking to her or that He hadn't sent her here to hell on purpose but she still thought of God as part of the 'verse."   
Notes:  Inspired by (and sometimes outright copied from) deleted scenes on the Firefly DVDs. Kind of song-fic. But not really.   
  



End file.
